You owe me a pop

This is what precious looks like...when it's napping in your arms.

If you've been following this blog for any amount of time, you've probably noticed that parenting has been a catch and release battle over here. I get on a routine/method/thiswayisgoingtowork high and then when lifegetsbusy/Babywon'ttaketoit/itdoesn'twork I crash a little. Don't get me wrong, being a Momma in general has been incredible! I love each and every {though perhaps not every minute of the} day! But I have had to let go of some of my preferences for the sake of baby's greater good i.e. trying to force him into routines that he wasn't ready for.

So, after just over six months, I felt like we were ready for some change. I found myself, both of us really, just floating around during the day, holding him during all of his naps, and just basically not feeling...steady...or purposeful. {It should be noted here that I am aware that this is the preferred method of absolutely awesome people, and in no way am I trying to suggest that routine is for everybody - just definitely for us. I knew you'd understand} Since he's a big(ger) boy now, I finally got my wish and implemented a little structure into our day. Because, besides the fact that I'm a person who craves order, I felt it was really good for him too. To have a general peace in his little baby mind that he will eat again, he will sleep again, there's no need to get out of control because he knows {in a very primitive baby way} that his needs will be met right around the same time everyday. Plus, with him napping like a big boy in his crib, I can get more of my work done while he sleeps, leaving me more undivided attention for him while he is awake.

And guess what - it worked like {almost} clockwork! For a grand total of 3 days. On that third day, in a conversation with a {completely wonderful} friend of mine, I made that stereotypical mistake of celebrating this little victory. Then, when the next day, Baby woke up at a different time of the morning, didn't nap as long as usual, needed to be held to nap at all in the afternoon, there was a tempting little, nasty thought in the back of my mind. I jinxed it.

And then the Truth smacked me and my little superstitious self right in the face. Really? You now have some kind of cosmic power to alter reality? You, a little human being, have charted the course of this day simply by sharing, and being excited about, your story? Riiiight.

And then it just snowballed. Because I realized that not only did I have no part in the day that didn't go as planned - I had very little to do with the days that did! True, I charted and upheld and trained and basically did my part, but it was only by the grace of God, blessing those efforts, that anything came of them at all. Silly Lucy.

There are no such things as jinxes. There are simply days that don't go in the same nice order that all the other days do. There are stuffy noses and new teeth, and sometimes there are days when a fella just needs to be cuddled by his Momma. And you know what, it was basically awesome, in it's own snugly way.

So this morning, I challenge us all to free ourselves from "worldly wisdom," and rest in the amazing sovereignty of our Sweet Lord. Isn't he amazing?!? Whew, so incredibly glad for {yet another} reminder that I am not in control. Maybe I'll get it...someday.

Dear Boogaboo,

 

Can I just start out by saying how freaking precious you are? You should know that I honestly cannot get enough of you! And also, at your six-month appointment yesterday, when you tried to destroy the whole roll of crinkley paper and potentially choke yourself to death by attempting to shove ripped up fistfuls in your mouth, all while I tried to have a serious conversation with your doctor about poop, yeah, that was pretty hilarious. Not the potential choking part. Obviously.

 

Anyway, you won't stay asleep at night all the sudden. I mean, I'm not taking it personally or anything, but it's kind of a bummer Dude. Not only because I'm not staying asleep either, although that's pretty super unfun, but because now we're probably going to have to start sleep training. I gotta say, I didn't really see this coming. Your night sleeping skills have seemed reasonably stellar, until recently.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of a little Ferber Method. Mostly, it just occurred to me that we probably need to stop snuggling during your naps. And that sucks. When you're a bit older, you should know you will not be allowed to use the phrase "sucks" but I'm your Mom, and the fact that my snuggling period may be over sucks. Cause, it's probably confusing, to snuggle during the day then make you sleep in your crib at night. Oops.

So, you little big boy you, will you puhlease let me cuddle you when you're awake? I know you're kind of independent right now, but Mommy is a physical being, and she needs to feel your chubby check against here's every once in a while. So when your motor skills grow up a little, promise you'll hug onto my neck the way you accidentally do now, and I promise to let you play outside with dirt and stuff. I think that's fair.

In closing, I love you much, little boy. I honestly can't stand it. If you need me, I'll be the one standing over your crib secretly watching you smile in your sleep.