More Than Many Sparrows

   Over the weekend, I found a baby bird. A Robin Nestling, to be exact, wiggling around pitifully under our grill, no nest to be found. After a legitimate amount of research and observation, my Mommy Heart could take no more and I nestled him safely, per the online instructions, in a nest-shaped basket, lined with paper towel. I waited eagerly for his Momma Bird to come for him, peeking out the dining room window more times than I care to admit. I never did see her, but I know she must have come because the next day I discovered bits of moss and things in the basket. What a little homemaker. Husband also said he saw the Daddy Robin around, so it seemed the whole thing was going according to "plan." I envisioned watching the whole circle of life from our dining room window. Bringing Little Boy out to say hello every morning. Etc, etc.
   Then the thunderstorms came, and my head started spinning. Would he make it? Should I move the nest? Would Mommy Bird take the proper precautions? But there was nothing to do but hope for the best. The next morning I went to see what had become of him, and imagine my delight when I peeled back the soaked paper towels to find our little friend, seemingly no worse for the wear, with a wet little feather fauxhawk to boot. Everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't.
Yesterday when I went to check on him, I found he had passed away in the night. I tried, really I did to not be upset by this, to remember all the "real" stuff I have to concern myself with, but it was no use. It hurt my heart a little bit. And then, floating around in my head and my heart came the all familiar verse,

     "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside the Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

    I've used it so often to remember not to worry about big things. That God is in control of my life. That if He can take care of things that "don't matter," than He can take care of big things too. And that is what it means. But yesterday morning it meant so much more. It meant that little things did matter. It meant that He saw me. He saw "my" bird. He knew all about it, and it had all been thoroughly under His control before I had ever come on the scene. He saw it wriggling pitifully under my grill, and He entrusted it, even for that short time, into my care. He saw it all, He knew it all. And more than that, He loved me enough to use that experience as a reminder of those constant truths. He sees, He knows, He loves. Big and small.
   So grateful for a God who speaks. Who speaks through sad. Who speaks through small. Thanks for the reminder Jesus. Now I guess I can move on to the "real" things...

Galations

"I {my old self} have been crucfied with Christ so it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith {trusting in} the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God {treat it as meaningless} for if righteousness could be gained throught the law, Christ died for nothing!" Galations 2:20-21 NIV {NLT}

Confession, and it's a doozy: This morning, after I fed baby and put him back to sleep I was having my quiet time on the couch. And when Husband walked in and saw me doing my Bible study, I was secretly glad that he saw me. We're not always up togther in the morning, so I was gratified to know that he would know that I do bible study in the morning. Yikes. I know. If you want to leave now, I understand.

If you're still here, allow me assure you that I was almost instantly revived from my ugliness by this passage I "just happened" to be reading. And it occured to me, pretty profoundly, that if I'm truly living the Christian life by crucifying myself and letting Jesus fill me up and pour out, then husband shouldn't have to see me having quiet time to know that I spend time with Christ. Yeah.

How very hypocritical of me to deem the "law" of reading the Word to be more important than letting the Word be evident in the way I live. Just a thought.